wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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