Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
