I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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