I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
