Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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