he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
