made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
