Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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