i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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