spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In other news, I just burned my penis
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
