Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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