so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
