just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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