Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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