So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
