she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
