I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
