my soul wont recognize me after tonight
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
