And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
