ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
