OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
