so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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