bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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