You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
