That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
