sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I enjoy the company of your penis
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
