Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So vagazzling was a success
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
