Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
