when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
