...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
