i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
