i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
