i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
