I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
