The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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