just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
