When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
