love makes seman taste better
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
