Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
