I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
