weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
accomplished twins. life is a go
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
