I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize