She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
