I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
