i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
