Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Yo dont text me then not text me
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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