Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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