I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
