yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
