We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
