she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
